Blog Archives
The Difference Between Goals and Purpose
Most of us are busy. “Busy” means different things to different people, but by this I mean that a lot of us are operating at full capacity most of the time.
Do you ever feel like you’re just spinning your wheels, or is your busyness moving you in a clear direction? Is that direction somewhere you want to go? Did you choose it? Do you know why you want to go there?
The other day, I noticed that I felt off. It wasn’t quite sadness, so I wrote in my journal to try and sort it out. I realized that I was feeling a bit lost and disoriented, and it was really uncomfortable.
How could I feel lost? I’m very ambitious, I have lots of goals mapped out, and I know the basic steps to accomplishing those goals. I sat with the feeling a little longer and realized something that I’ve never thought of before.
Goals are nothing without purpose. I have goals, but that’s not the same as having direction. Goals are what we want to accomplish, but purpose is why we want to accomplish it.
I believe we all have a purpose in this life, and that mine is to have joy and share it with others so that they might have joy too. That’s what I try to do with my art and writing. I’m not talking about the joy you feel when you watch a funny movie, but the joy you have to work for and that comes when you know yourself and learn hard lessons and develop a deeper understanding of your own purpose.
When we have purpose, we can align ourselves with that and work toward our goals much more efficiently and mindfully. When we forget our purpose, our actions feel empty.
Finding your purpose is a deep life question, but I’ve found that with some observation of your actions and desires, your talents and interests, it’s actually fairly simple. I’ll leave that question for you.
I’m curious. What are your goals? Are they part of a deeper purpose, or are you still figuring that one out?
What do you want to do today?
Sometimes when I feel like I’m moving too fast or running on autopilot, I like to stop and get back on track. One of my favorite ways to reawaken myself to my own life and purpose is to get out my journal and write about what I would do that day if I didn’t have to do anything. I might also write about my ideal day, or maybe just list 20 or so things that I love to do and remind myself to build my life around those.
A lot of people think they’d lay around and watch TV all day if they didn’t have to do anything, and that may be true, but everyone is passionate about something. People need to actually do things to be happy. If you don’t know what you like to do, you might want to start there.
My day usually involves reading, writing, making art, taking walks, and spending time with my husband. Pretty simple. Some days I feel like going on an adventure and some days I’d rather curl up with a blanket and a Tracy Chevalier novel. Still, playing this little game helps me reassess what I’m doing and whether it’s getting me where I need to go. We should enjoy our lives. It’s not all fun and games; we all have things that need to get done that we’d rather not do, but the bulk of our lives should be enjoyable.
Find out what you love most and build your life around that. Use your “ideal day” writing as a compass.
Today, if I didn’t have to go to work, I’d go for a walk, work on some new paintings, prepare two of my paintings for an upcoming juried show, read a little, write in my journal, and go for a walk in the evening. Maybe a picnic with my husband. That’s actually what I’m planning to do today, more or less, just with my regular workday in the middle.
What would you do today, or on your ideal day? What do you love to do more than anything?
Holi-The Festival of Colors
Every year around this time, everyone with roots in Utah will notice that his or her Facebook page is full of photos of people covered in colored dust and having a great time.
Though crowds, noise, and dancing aren’t usually my thing, this year I decided to go to the Festival of Colors, a Hindu festival celebrated
in the spring. Here we are at the Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork, Utah:
- My good friends Destinee and Kyle, all colorful.
I went with some friends who are seasoned festival attendees. That was the first time I’d actually been to that temple, and it was beautiful, especially speckled with bright colors. The temple was surrounded with peacocks and lamas and these little yak-like things called zebos. As soon as I stepped in the gates, somebody pelted me with bright yellow cornstarch. I bought three bags of neon-bright powder in hot pink, green, and a very vibrant purple. People showered us with their colors at us and we returned the favor. I got very colorful very quickly.
I loved going on top of the temple and watching the crowd from above. Several Kirtan bands performed and the whole crowd rippled and pulsed while bright clouds rose up. I love Kirtan, but I’d never heard it live. Granted, this was spruced up a little-much more danceable than traditional Kirtan.
I’ve never been comfortable dancing in public, or at all, but I did my signature “can’t dance” dance and had a great time. People walked by and hugged me or sprinkled color over my hair. Everyone was friends with everyone.
The highlight of the festival is the “throwing”, when the entire crowd throws their colors into the air at once, which creates this beautiful, massive rainbow cloud that blocked out the sun for about thirty seconds and smells amazing. I got all kinds of ideas for colorful paintings.
I didn’t see myself until the end, but I looked pretty funny. Somehow my friends managed to stay colorful-as in, you could actually see the different colors- while I was so colorful that I’d turned completely brown! I was smiling the whole time, so the color settled into the creases and contours of my face, so I came out looking like an old lady who’d rolled in the mud.
I’m sure I’ll be cleaning purple cornstarch out of my ears for weeks, but I haven’t had so much fun in a long time. I’m going every year. If you live anywhere near Utah and can make it to the festival, I highly urge you to go. I can’t think of a more beautiful way to welcome spring.
Taking pictures was kind of hard, but I managed to glean a few decent ones from the dozens of lousy ones I got. My camera cord is permanently pink now.
For a much better idea of the festival, go to the Krishna Temple site and watch the video here.
Yes, lots got in my mouth. That was the only part I didn't like.
The thing I loved most about the festival was the joy. I could feel it in the air; it was a very happy place. I didn’t see any grumpy people. All kinds of people were there, from babies to the elderly. A little girl asked me for a hug so she could get color all over me. I didn’t even mind getting smashed into people during the throwing, because everyone felt like my friend. I don’t recall ever feeling like that toward strangers, but I think that’s what will keep my going back every year.
That and the colors. Oh, the colors.
Being Here and the Kreativ Blogger Award
This week, I’ve noticed that I’ve been doing things very quickly and that I’ve been holding a lot of tension in my body, especially my shoulders and face. Sometimes at work I’ll notice that my shoulders are burning or that my cheeks hurt. I know myself well enough to know that this means that I’ve been doing too much white-knuckling. I’ve been charging through things without paying attention to now.
Sometimes I need to remind myself to unclench my jaw, take some deep breathes, and come back into the moment. I think we all need that reminder sometimes, so today as you go about your business, remember to be in your body. Notice something around you. Release the tension that we all tend to hoard in our bodies. No matter what’s going on for us, remember that there’s still the sky. Birds are still flying around. The world is still turning. Even if we’re drowning in a giant puddle of stress, Spring is still coming. Flowers still bloom. It’s just a little blip on the radar.
Just a reminder for the both of us 
In other new, Megan from Make Something Mondays has given me the Kreativ Blogger Award. Thanks Megan!
In order to claim the Kreativ Blogger Award here’s what I and the next lucky recipients need to do:
1. Thank the blogger who gave you the award and provide a link.
2. List 7 things about yourself that your readers might find interesting
3. Nominate 7 other bloggers, provide links, and let them know!
So, in case you find random stuff about me interesting…
- Most of my favorite movies and TV shows are technically for kids, but I love them anyway. I love Coraline, Milo and Otis, anything to do with Pixar, Disney movies, and Jim Henson everything.
- I got my first bee sting when I was 3 or 4. I told my mom that I was squeezing the bee because “I was trying to get the honey out!”
- I love food and I have very adventurous tastes. When I went to China, I was always the first to try the chicken feet/sea cucumber/green eggs/fish dishes. Sushi and calamari are some of my favorite foods.
- I’m not afraid of snakes, spiders, or heights, but I’m terrified of walking on a frozen lake. No ice fishing for me. I’m also scared of centipedes and I hate “rocket” rides at theme parks. The ones that shoot you up and then drop you? Nope.
- I was 10lbs, 2oz when I was born. I love you Mom.
- I met my husband in high school when I fell down the stairs and dislocated my left shoulder. His friends rescued me, and after that, I was kind of a part of the group. I made really good friends with both him and his then girlfriend, so I was usually the third wheel. We got married five years later.
- I have a very dry, irreverent sense of humor that I get from my dad. I like to joke about things like death and pain, because why not? Even if it’s not funny, joking about it makes it easier to accept as parts of life.
Now I get to pick 7 other bloggers to stick in the hot seat! Go say hi to them!
- Rachael from Talk2theTrees.
- Michelle from The Creative Healing Studio.
- Syd from Woolgather.
- Diane from Soul Places.
- Mandee from Life is Wonderful and Full of Delicious Possibilities. Also, check her out on Three Thousand Words.
- Sara from Modern Sentiment.
- Sherry from Fabulous 50′s.
Now go have an awesome day.
What do you need to be happy?
Last year, I spent a lot of time reconnecting with my creativity and getting in touch with my values and desires. I often asked myself what my ideal life would look like, which was a valuable exercise for me at the time. It still is. Allowing ourselves to dream big is the first step to reaching our goals.
I’d write about this in my journal, and I’d allow myself to dream big, to break down walls in my mind and allow myself to see what I really wanted, what I needed to try to accomplish. I reached a place where those things didn’t feel so out of reach anymore. It did wonders for my confidence and really helped me to see myself as the creative being that I am.
I tried it again just now, just to reassess and see where I am.
What does my ideal life look like?
The answer surprised me. Instead of the grand career, the world travel, and the huge accomplishments, I thought hard and came up with a few key ingredients:
- I want to spend a lot of time nurturing and expressing my creativity,
- I want to connect with my family and friends. Not even a lot of friends, but a few good ones. I want to feel real connection with people.
- I want to be healthy and feel good about myself. Neither one depends on the other, but they tend to come together.
- I want to have adventures, whether they’re big ones like traveling abroad, or little ones like exploring a new hiking trail or trying a new vegetable this week.
The nice thing is that every single one of those is completely within my power, no matter what my circumstances.These things don’t depend on success or money, they don’t depend on approval or validation or permission from anyone else.
At first, this question helped me see the possibilities, now it helps me see my own power and the value of now. It helps me to see that I don’t need to put my happiness on hold for “when”.
What does your ideal life look like?
How to be Creative All the Time
Well, almost all the time.
I’ve been a “creative type” all my life and I’ve noticed that when people comment on my art/writing/singing/piano playing/acting, the often follow the comment with something like “I’m not creative. I don’t have any gifts like that.”
Baloney.
Everyone is creative. More specifically, everyone has creativity. Each one of us has unlimited creative potential, but most of us think of creativity as a novelty, a gift that some people have rather than a lifestyle. Creativity is like health. It’s our natural state of being, but it gets lost without the proper care. Like health, our precious creativity can be eroded by stress, lack of self-care, negativity, and skewed ideas of what this trait actually is. It’s about thriving, not surviving. Health is not dragging yourself from day to day while relying on crutches like caffeine and sugar just as creativity isn’t performing your basic duties required to hold you life together.
You can learn to cultivate creativity. I’ve written about this before, but here are some tips to keep your creative channels clean and healthy:
- Let go of perfectionism.
- Make space in your schedule for “creative playtime.” You need it. Do whatever lights you up whether it’s making a piece of art, dabbling in poetry, inventing a new cheesecake recipe, or staring that novel you’ve always wanted to write. Do this regularly. It doesn’t have to be perfect, or even good. It’s just playtime.
- Take care of yourself physically and emotionally.Deal with stress in healthy ways. It’s hard to think creatively if you’re in survival mode. Exercise and eat foods that nourish you. Get to bed at a decent hour. You live through your body, so if you’re body is dragging, your creativity will too.
- Follow your inspiration. Notice the things that draw you in, and don’t fight them. If you’re oddly drawn to Japanese cooking, go for it. If you’ve always wanted to learn to sew, get on Craiglist and find a sewing machine. If a certain book or movie stirs something in your soul, tear that sucker apart until you find what’s awakened.
- Accept that you are a creative being. Understanding this deep in your soul will open up a new world of possibility and adventure for you. Tell yourself that you are creative. Believe it. Allow yourself to see the world through the eyes of a creative person, and you will start to see things differently.
How does that feel? Do you feel that you’re a creative person?
The Poison of Perfectionism
I know what it’s like to feel creatively blocked. Most people do.
One of the biggest blocks we face is perfectionism. Perfectionism is a massive creativity clogger.
We might spend too long on a certain project because it has to be perfect. We don’t allow ourselves to move on until we’re satisfied, and we’re never satisfied. We hold on long after the passion is gone. We let other juicy ideas wither because we can’t give them the attention they need.It’s like neglecting your other children in your quest to be the perfect parent to your first.
We might find that creating isn’t fun anymore. We often doubt our abilities and the value of our ideas because we can’t express them perfectly. We might give up too soon or not start at all because we figure, what’s the point if I can’t do it perfectly?
This is a lie we tell ourselves, that our creations must be perfect to be valuable. I struggled with this one for a long time, in many areas of my life.
How do we let go?
Focus on the passion. Realize that the value is in the process. Seek truth rather than perfection.
My art isn’t perfect. My writing isn’t perfect. Nothing I make is perfect, but at least I’m making stuff. I didn’t use to. Making lots of great-but-not-perfect stuff is better than making nothing at all. Trying and failing is better than not trying.
Let go of perfectionism. Realize that perfection is a subjective term, and what’s the value of perfection anyway, at least in a creative sense. Let your creativity express itself honestly, and the result will be more valuable for it.
The Season of Reflection
- “Misunderstood” by Jude Harzer
This is my experimental winter. I’ve had winter blues since I was a child, but this year I decided to accept it and observe it rather than feel angry.
I’ve learned to accept that this is my slower time of year, that this season is for contemplating and reflecting. I do a lot of that in the summer too, but it’s different.
I’ve realized that winter is when all my inner garbage comes to the surface. Any buried fears, hurts, loneliness, anger, or pain of any sort comes out. For years I’ve stuffed it down with food and denial, and while I’ve done my fair share of emotional eating this winter, I’ve also done a lot of “cleaning.”Issues that I thought I’d resolved and pains I didn’t even know were there are floating up for me to work with. They lift their heads and say “here I am!” and even though they seem like ugly little suckers at first, they all have something valuable to teach me. When I learn, I reap the peace and freedom that comes from letting go, and enjoy it all summer long until the next round of “trash picking” arrives. It’s like rebreaking bones so they’ll set properly. It’s painful and liberating. I know that dealing with these feelings authentically is the only way to move past them.
I’ve understood this for awhile now, but I’m writing about it now because the biggest monster of all has risen to the surface, past hurts lodged deep inside. I’ve had a massive headache all day long and I feel exhausted because haven’t taken the time to sit with him, hear what he needs me to know, and send him on his way. My deepest, slimiest, most gripping fear has come to visit. I doubt this is the last time I’ll see him, but I can feel that our relationship is about to change.
I don’t think I’m the only one who goes through periods like this. I think everyone does to some degree, but not many of us realize it. It’s terrifying and painful when our deep hurts rise up for us to see. We numb them out, we shut our eyes, we pretend they aren’t there, but they don’t leave until they’re acknowledged. Sometimes we call this depression, or a bad day, or getting “triggered.” These times come in all shapes and forms.
Notice when these times come to you. You’ll probably feel tense or grumpy, maybe weepy, you may feel physical discomforts, maybe all of the above like me. Don’t fear it. Meet your monsters, listen to them, and part as friends (or at least call a truce).
Enjoy the peace of letting go.
Painting: Galaxies Inside 2
My paintings always surprise me because they almost never turn out the way I plan them. I may go in with a plan or an idea that I want to express, but somewhere in the process, that idea changes. Once I finish, I realize that whatever the painting ended up saying was what I needed to express all along.
24X36 Acrylic on Canvas
This painting was no exception. We had a few springy days and I felt my soul stirring. I planned on painting something very gold, warm looking with lots of movement in energy. I wanted to paint hope and excitement. As the painting got away from me as they always do, it grew more white. It looked more calm than I’d wanted it to. It was misty and cold rather than warm and vibrant.
That’s how it had to be though.
After I realized that I needed to be sitting under that tree, I realized that this piece is about patience and faith as we allow things to pass.
Sometimes, the best thing to do it wait. Understand that things pass. Remember that spring comes each year. Observe things as they happen, but don’t let them sink into our hearts. Sometimes detachment is the healthiest thing in the world.
This is the second piece in the Galaxies Inside series. This piece is available for purchase here.
Wise Words: Paint your Reality
I paint my own reality. The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to,
and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.
-Frida Kahlo
